Desperately Seeking "Chrissy"
I am a 28-year-old, unattractive guy who is in love with my best female friend. "Chrissy" is 25 and a single mother. I have always adored her. We met in high school in 1996. In 2002, Chrissy ran into an old high school boyfriend who was addicted to drugs and has psychological problems. She fell back in love with him, and soon they were dating. He was insecure about her having friends, especially someone of the opposite sex, so he gave her an ultimatum -- him or me. She chose him. A year later they had a baby. When Chrissy finally got it through her head that he was never going to change or give up drugs, she broke up with him. Being the good guy -- or fool -- that I am, I became close with her again. Over time, I have gotten to know her son and have treated him like he was my own. I do anything and everything for them. I would like to have a real relationship with Chrissy. It makes me sad that she'd rather go out with guys who don't really care for her (she admits it herself) than see how much I love her. I want so much to be with her, but I know she doesn't see me in that light. I don't know what to do. I don't want to say something because if I do, she'll pull back and probably stop seeing me altogether. My friends say I should speak up or stop seeing her, but I can't. To quote a song, "I'd rather live in her world, than live without her in mine." I pray every night for God to grant me this one prayer. What can I do to make this work?
You should desperately seek some self-esteem because you are way lacking in it. You sound like a very caring, responsible, compassionate man that any woman would be fortunate to have. Do you know how many women are looking for these qualities alone in a man? Why are you chasing after someone who is so obviously not interested? (And if she is content to waste her life and time on no good men, she doesn’t sound too bright anyway. And she certainly doesn’t sound like she would appreciate you if you were together.) You say you’d rather live in her world than without her in yours? Newsflash, kiddo: you ARE living without her and she doesn’t bit more want to be in your world than the man in the moon. Move on. Get over her.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and there is no truer statement. You are good-looking to somebody (and at least that somebody should be you). Still, there could be a woman dying for your attention right now, but you can’t see her for staring at the back of Chrissy’s head. Stop it. There is nothing worse than being in love by yourself. And Chrissy does not love you…not the way you love her. But it’s her loss.
posted by MrsNotYourMomma @ 10:25 AM
5 comments
5 Comments:
This woman reminds me of Jenny from Forrest Gump
Hey, to the brother who is "Desperately seeking Susan". I agree that sometimes we should move on with our lives, but may I add this tidbit of advice. If the two of you are good/great friends, whenever you see that she's having a down day, invite her to go out for some enjoyable time, like bowling, a funny movie, or even Chuck-E-Cheese for the little one. These places are not as expensive as going to an amusement park and so forth. At Chuck-E-Cheese, all three can enjoy and both of you can still take your minds off the trials and tribulations of life and enjoy yourselves there as well. How do you know she may not be interested in you? She could be feeling the same way as you, afraid that you may back off from your treasured friendship. In a joking jester you could say, "one guys joke is another guys treasure, and if you were mine I'd give y'all (including her child).... You can fill in the blanks from there. If she appears upset or irritated, brush it off with some humor and don't be offended. You most also build up yourself esteem and confidence levels, and once you've accomplished that, you'll have people just about knocking you door down to be around you, because it appears you do have a tremendous heart.
Awwwwwwwwwww I feel bad for him. I mean your advice was perfect...couldn't of said it better myself. but my heart went out to him because he seems so caring and after all...this is what we women say we want. I pray God will answer his pray...maybe not in the form of Chrissy but in the form of a woman that would appreciate a man such as the writer and return every act that he extends himself.
Brother this is a classic case of a woman choosing the wrong man. I've said it time and time again:
The problem with bruthas is that they are always looking to upgrade and the problem with sistuhs is that they always choose the wrong men.
This woman has a man (you) right in front of you that would treat her and her son the way she needs to be treated, but she wants to run to the cat that would treat her like dirt. Unfortunately this is the way women are. I don't know what it is about them but they always choose the wrong men. If you want her don't give up just know that there is nothing wrong with you.
Right now she takes you for granted but the minute she sees you giving your attention to someone else she'll start looking at you as the man she needs. Right now you're her fall back guy, her comfort zone, her "friend" in need.
I hate nothing worse then hearing violins when I'm reading something. *urked* Ok listen up, if you don't think you're attractive then how do you expect anyone else to? Why would you even wanna be caught up with someone who KNOWS they pick the wrong men? Huh? What? Come on now...
Post a Comment
<< Home