Tuesday, May 09, 2006

The Consequences of Rejecting a Man

Just in case you don't watch the UPN sitcom "Girlfriends," let me briefly give you the gist of what happened in last night's season finale:

"Joan" was dating (or rather going out with and sleeping with) two different guys at the same time. One of the guys was a basketball player ("Jovaughn"), and the other guy was something like a TV producer. (I can't recall his name on the show right now, but he's played by Wayne Brady. So for the sake of this post, I'll call him "Brady.") Anyway, Joan really liked Jovaughn, and Brady really liked Joan. For a little while, she tried juggling the two men, but eventually decided that since she liked Jovaughn best, she would end things with Brady. Besides, she said, Brady was too nice a guy to continue stringing along. [Let me add that one night, Brady told Joan that he loved her, and Joan said she loved him too, although she did not.] Joan confesses to Brady that she had been seeing him while seeing "a famous, rich basketball player." Of course Brady was hurt and upset, being that he really liked Joan, and thought she liked him too. He said he didn't want to be with somebody who didn't want to be with him.

Fast forward to last night's episode. Joan went to an A-list party in Hollywood, got drunk, got sick - the whole nine. She's sitting outside on the steps when Brady arrives to the party. She immediately perks up, jumps up, makes small talk, and asks him for a ride home. And then Brady lets her have it. I can't believe you would ask me for a ride after you did what you did to me. You're not even that cute anyway. You're not as hot as you think you are. I despise you. You slept with me to get on the cover of this magazine. You're trash. And he bounced.

Now, my question is this: why do men wait until they have been rejected to demean and trash-talk a woman? If Joan was all these horrible things all along, why was he still content to date her? Why did he tell her that he loved her? (And for those that didn't watch the show, he really did love/like her.) But now that she had chosen another guy, she was a whore, she was ugly and all these other things.

The first answer that comes to mind is he's hurt. We all know that a man's ego is HUGE, and they are more sensitive than women. They fear rejection more than women, and so they lash out in their hurt. But is that it? Is this "phenomenon" that simple? Even though this happened on a show, I've experienced it enough to know it happens in real life too. A man approaches you on the street, makes his interest known, but when you make it known that you're not interested, you immediately get called all kinds of b&tches, and get told, you weren't that cute anyway! How does that work? I was cute enough a few minutes ago, but now I'm ugly?

Or was I always ugly (to him...cuz I ain't ugly, lol)? Was it that he only wanted sex from me in the first place? What was/is it, men? Why do some of you do that?

5 Comments:

At 11:08 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I say to hell with people who try to do you out. he was the one that was not cute, the ugliness that he had in his heart showed soo clearly. He urked me.

As for real life this happens all the time... Keep it moving as durtymo always says.

Hmpf!

 
At 11:12 AM, Blogger MrsNotYourMomma said...

@ anonymous - I agree, but my question is why does it even have to result in that? Why is a woman a bytch and everything else because she doesn't like a man back?

 
At 12:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah men have HUGE ego's! I think it boils down to that.. Basically they've been rejected and they can't handle it. So they lash out. And the men that try to hit on you in the street and you turn them down, they call you a name because you embarassed thier azz in public and they've been rejected.

 
At 2:03 PM, Blogger DurtyMo said...

Let me say my lil 2 cents. I don't like people. I don't like women & I don't like men. Ok now that I've gotten that out of the way. I guess people lash out as a means to an end. In order to redeem themselves (in their eyes) they gotta belittle you. It's sick but so true. Didn't I say I hate people? Goodness. Woo don't get me started.

 
At 2:15 PM, Blogger Enigma said...

They are not men to me if they scream insults/cuss words at you. Little boys do that. Grown Men understand that they cannot have everything they want. Women deal with rejection too and say/do stupid things to men as well. Immature folks do immature things, regardless of gender. Instead of facing that they are rejected, getting over it and moving on to someone who likes them and want to get to know them too they throw tantrums. It really it is a B*#@* move. Why use that type of energy on someone who does not want you? Geeze. I will never understand that.

 

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