Sink or Swim in Arkansas

I am a 30-year-old woman who has been dating a man I'll call "Paul" for almost a year. I love him and he says he loves me, but sometimes I have a hard time trusting him. Women call him here at my apartment at 4 a.m. They also leave messages on my answering machine inviting him over for dinner. Paul won't call them back if I am around. He says they're "just friends," but then he tells me he doesn't know how they got my phone number. (It's unlisted.) He swears he hasn't talked to any of them in more than a year. Am I just being insecure? If so, how does someone deal with these feelings of jealousy? Should I believe him and take the chance of drowning, or get out now and go on with my life without him?

Leslie says...

Dearheart, you have a hard time trusting "Paul," and I have a hard time believing you are serious. You cannot be this gullible and simple. Can you? You know daggone well that your beloved Paul is NOT an honorable man. And he's only getting away with this because you're letting him. Women call your apartment at booty-call hours of the morning, and he says he doesn't know how they got the number? Or that they're just friends? You're not being insecure, sweetie. You're being dumb. And if you don't wise up, then you deserve the heartache that being involved with him will bring.

Should you believe him and take the chance of drowning? If you know there's a chance you might drown, why are you wasting my time?