Hell No

How was your weekend? Mine was excellent. CB, his parents and I drove up to NY Saturday morning to catch The Color Purple on Broadway. The experience was amazing. I was scied (sp). Felt a little privileged (sitting Orchestra Level, Row J) and boo-shee (as DM would say). This was my first time viewing a Broadway production (if that wasn't already obvious), and it won't be my last. I will NEVER look at musicals or plays the same.

Anyway, I wanted to share with you one of the songs Miss Sofia sang. I'm going to assume majority of you black people have at least seen the movie, so I won't spend a lot of time setting up the scene or describing the characters, but Sofia sang the following song to Celie after Celie told Hoppo to beat her.

I feel sorry for you / To tell you the truth (hmpf)
You remind me of my momma / Under your husband's thumb
Nah, you under your husband's foot / What he say go
Why you scared / I'll never know
But if a man raise his hand -- hell no
HELL NO!

A girl chile ain't safe / In a family of mens
Sick and tired how a woman / Still live like a slave
Ah, you better learn how to fight back / While you still alive
You show dem "girl" / And beat back dat jibe
'Cause when a man just don't give a damn -- hell no
HELL NO!

(Dialogue)
Celie: What you gon do now?
Sofia: My sisters comin to get me. I think I need a vacation on up and away from here.
Celie: Hoppo yo husband. You got ta stay wit him. I know you love 'im.

Sofia (singing again):
When that man used to touch me
He'd climb on top and start to rock me away
Lawd knows I still loves him
But he tried to make me mind and I just ain't that kind -- hell no!

At some point, Sofia calls her sisters, and they come running out of the house with the sink, chairs and other items, and begin loading them onto their wheelbarrow to haul Sofia away. One sister comes out weilding a shot gun, and they're all singing/shouting HELL NO!

I'm sitting there mesmerized by the caliber of performance and singing and moved by the story itself (The Color Purple is already one of my favorite movies and books.). But when Sofia sang this song - and you had to see it because part of its effect was in her facial expressions and other movements. During the first verse, when she sings "'cause when a man raise his hand...," she motions like she's preparing to block herself from a blow. But when she says, "hell no," she grabs the air and makes a fist, as if to grab the coming hand and stop it from hitting her. I cheered in my seat! (Corny, I know. But yall just had to be there and be feeling what I felt. It's actually what I've always felt when it comes to women accepting any and every kind of treatment from a man.)

Now, lest this seems to be about physical abuse, it is not. I have never been a victim, and for that reason, I'm sure my feelings about it would offend and be insensitive towards women who have been victims. So physical abuse aside, why don't more women say HELL NO to the other types of abuse and mistreatment by men?

One of the things Sofia's sisters sang was: "Don't be no fool, don't waste your time, a man who hurts you ain't worth a dime." Why the hell do women act like they don't know this? Why do women pretend to be dumb? Like they don't see a man's lying and cheating, using and abusing, taking and never giving tendencies? I know that sometimes the signs aren't always there, but I got sense enough to know most of the times they are. Why do we ignore them? Do we need a man that bad? Are we that afraid of being alone?

Now, I also believe that sometimes a woman can know a man is no good, but it just takes them a minute to do something about it (namely leave and refuse to settle for that kind of treatment again). But how come it takes some women years and years? Is it an issue of self-love, or the lack thereof? I always blame everything on low self-esteem. Is it that? If I love Leslie, am I going to allow somebody to treat Leslie any kind of way? How long am I going to be with a man who disrespects me, emotionally neglects me, cheats on me, impregnating other women including me? A man who lays around my house all day expecting me to take care of him, drives my car but never buys any gas or pays for any repairs? What does it take for a woman to finally be like HELL TO THE &*%$#!@ NAW?!